The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius.
If you can't stand yourself, neither can anybody else!
Jazz is a beautiful woman whose older brother is a policeman.
The best thing about humour is that it shows people they are not alone.
The things I see now on TV and in movies are so outlandish. Kids doing rude things with pies! And the language that they use! It's being outrageous for the sake of being outrageous. I can't watch it. It turns me off.
When I did comedy I made fun of myself. If there was a buffoon, I played the buffoon. And people looked at me and said, "Gee, that's like Uncle David", or "That's like a friend of mine.". And they related through that. I didn't make fun of them. I made fun of me.