The trouble with telling a good story is that it invariably reminds the other fellow of a dull one.
Jazz is a beautiful woman whose older brother is a policeman.
If you can't stand yourself, neither can anybody else!
The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius.
When I did comedy I made fun of myself. If there was a buffoon, I played the buffoon.
If I don't believe it, I don't care.