Everybody wants to have a goal - I gotta get to that goal, I gotta get to that goal, I gotta get to that goal. I can finally get to that goal. Then you get to that goal, and then you gotta get to another goal. But in between goals is a thing called life, that has to be lived and enjoyed - and if you don't, you're a fool.

If you can't stand yourself, neither can anybody else!

When I did comedy I made fun of myself. If there was a buffoon, I played the buffoon.

A great NOW will be a great WAS! A bad NOW will always be a bad WAS, and all you can hope for is a Great GONNA BE!

If you listen to a language for 15 minutes, you know the rhythm and song.

After all those years of doing a live, hour-and-a-half show every week, I've got nothing more I need to prove.

The trouble with telling a good story is that it invariably reminds the other fellow of a dull one.