The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius.

A great NOW will be a great WAS! A bad NOW will always be a bad WAS, and all you can hope for is a Great GONNA BE!

If you listen to a language for 15 minutes, you know the rhythm and song.

In between goals is a thing called life, that has to be lived and enjoyed.

After all those years of doing a live, hour-and-a-half show every week, I've got nothing more I need to prove.

The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius.

Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end.