People come up to me and they thank me: 'I thank you for the many, many hours of laughter.'

The trouble with telling a good story is that it invariably reminds the other fellow of a dull one.

In between goals is a thing called life, that has to be lived and enjoyed.

When I did comedy I made fun of myself. If there was a buffoon, I played the buffoon.

A great NOW will be a great WAS! A bad NOW will always be a bad WAS, and all you can hope for is a Great GONNA BE!

If you have no tragedy, you have no comedy. Crying and laughing are the same emotion. If you laugh too hard, you cry. And vice versa.

Jazz is a beautiful woman whose older brother is a policeman.