If you have no tragedy, you have no comedy. Crying and laughing are the same emotion. If you laugh too hard, you cry. And vice versa.

In between goals is a thing called life, that has to be lived and enjoyed.

When I did comedy I made fun of myself. If there was a buffoon, I played the buffoon. And people looked at me and said, "Gee, that's like Uncle David", or "That's like a friend of mine.". And they related through that. I didn't make fun of them. I made fun of me.

A great NOW will be a great WAS! A bad NOW will always be a bad WAS, and all you can hope for is a Great GONNA BE!

After all those years of doing a live, hour-and-a-half show every week, I've got nothing more I need to prove.

The trouble with telling a good story is that it invariably reminds the other fellow of a dull one.

If you listen to a language for 15 minutes, you know the rhythm and song.