If you listen to a language for 15 minutes, you know the rhythm and song.

Comedy has to be based on truth. You take the truth and you put a little curlicue at the end.

If you can't stand yourself, neither can anybody else!

Jazz is a beautiful woman whose older brother is a policeman.

The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was a genius.

Everybody wants to have a goal - I gotta get to that goal, I gotta get to that goal, I gotta get to that goal. I can finally get to that goal. Then you get to that goal, and then you gotta get to another goal. But in between goals is a thing called life, that has to be lived and enjoyed - and if you don't, you're a fool.

When I did comedy I made fun of myself. If there was a buffoon, I played the buffoon.