I've got nothing against any individual American, except that there aren't any. They're always Irish-American, African-American... There's never an American-American you can blame.

It is the vanity of women to spend hours in front of the mirror. It is the vanity of men not to bother.

Like bees around honey. Why are bees so attracted to honey, since they make it? It can only be vanity.

The truly beautiful are often abused for apparent ugliness just as those with great vision often bump into things.

I wear glasses myself. As an affectation, as a badge of high intellect and to see with.

He who disagrees with me in private, call him a fool. He who disagrees with me in public, call him an ambulance.

What do you get the man who has everything? Might I suggest a gravestone inscribed with the words: so what?