I've got nothing against any individual American, except that there aren't any. They're always Irish-American, African-American... There's never an American-American you can blame.

I remember when I posed as a customs officer so that I could meet Oscar Wilde. I said to him "Have you anything to declare?" He said "I have nothing to declare but my genius." I said "I'll put that down as nothing then shall I?" For I am the wittiest man on Earth.

I don't worry about losing my looks. It's finding them on someone else that worries me.

Like many supermodels, I won't get out of bed for less than £3000. Unlike many supermodels, I don't get out of bed very often.

Like bees around honey. Why are bees so attracted to honey, since they make it? It can only be vanity.

Many are willing to suffer for their art. Few are willing to learn to draw.

I wear glasses myself. As an affectation, as a badge of high intellect and to see with.