I've got nothing against any individual American, except that there aren't any. They're always Irish-American, African-American... There's never an American-American you can blame.

Life is like a musical by Andrew Lloyd Webber. Very popular and not as bad as some would have you believe. That is, unspeakably awful but mercifully brief.

It is the vanity of women to spend hours in front of the mirror. It is the vanity of men not to bother.

Like many supermodels, I won't get out of bed for less than £3000. Unlike many supermodels, I don't get out of bed very often.

Like bees around honey. Why are bees so attracted to honey, since they make it? It can only be vanity.

He who disagrees with me in private, call him a fool. He who disagrees with me in public, call him an ambulance.

All men are brothers. Hence war.