I've got nothing against any individual American, except that there aren't any. They're always Irish-American, African-American... There's never an American-American you can blame.

The truly beautiful are often abused for apparent ugliness just as those with great vision often bump into things.

Although no man is an island, you can make quite an effective raft out of six.

Fish deserve to be caught for they are lazy. Two million years of evolution and they still haven't got out of the water.

I remember when I posed as a customs officer so that I could meet Oscar Wilde. I said to him "Have you anything to declare?" He said "I have nothing to declare but my genius." I said "I'll put that down as nothing then shall I?" For I am the wittiest man on Earth.

All men are brothers. Hence war.

I've got nothing against any individual American, except that there aren't any. They're always Irish-American, African-American... There's never an American-American you can blame.