Fish deserve to be caught for they are lazy. Two million years of evolution and they still haven't got out of the water.

When you look in the mirror and despair and none of your clothes seem appropriate, relax, put the kettle on. It might suit you.

I remember when I posed as a customs officer so that I could meet Oscar Wilde. I said to him "Have you anything to declare?" He said "I have nothing to declare but my genius." I said "I'll put that down as nothing then shall I?" For I am the wittiest man on Earth.

The truly beautiful are often abused for apparent ugliness just as those with great vision often bump into things.

Many are willing to suffer for their art. Few are willing to learn to draw.

Life is like a musical by Andrew Lloyd Webber. Very popular and not as bad as some would have you believe. That is, unspeakably awful but mercifully brief.

Fish deserve to be caught for they are lazy. Two million years of evolution and they still haven't got out of the water.