Fish deserve to be caught for they are lazy. Two million years of evolution and they still haven't got out of the water.

It is the vanity of women to spend hours in front of the mirror. It is the vanity of men not to bother.

Like many supermodels, I won't get out of bed for less than £3000. Unlike many supermodels, I don't get out of bed very often.

Like bees around honey. Why are bees so attracted to honey, since they make it? It can only be vanity.

Life is like a musical by Andrew Lloyd Webber. Very popular and not as bad as some would have you believe. That is, unspeakably awful but mercifully brief.

All men are brothers. Hence war.

Although no man is an island, you can make quite an effective raft out of six.