All men are brothers. Hence war.

Like many supermodels, I won't get out of bed for less than £3000. Unlike many supermodels, I don't get out of bed very often.

I remember when I posed as a customs officer so that I could meet Oscar Wilde. I said to him "Have you anything to declare?" He said "I have nothing to declare but my genius." I said "I'll put that down as nothing then shall I?" For I am the wittiest man on Earth.

It is the vanity of women to spend hours in front of the mirror. It is the vanity of men not to bother.

I don't worry about losing my looks. It's finding them on someone else that worries me.

I've got nothing against any individual American, except that there aren't any. They're always Irish-American, African-American... There's never an American-American you can blame.

Like bees around honey. Why are bees so attracted to honey, since they make it? It can only be vanity.