The truly beautiful are often abused for apparent ugliness just as those with great vision often bump into things.

I remember when I posed as a customs officer so that I could meet Oscar Wilde. I said to him "Have you anything to declare?" He said "I have nothing to declare but my genius." I said "I'll put that down as nothing then shall I?" For I am the wittiest man on Earth.

Life is like a musical by Andrew Lloyd Webber. Very popular and not as bad as some would have you believe. That is, unspeakably awful but mercifully brief.

When you look in the mirror and despair and none of your clothes seem appropriate, relax, put the kettle on. It might suit you.

All men are brothers. Hence war.

Many are willing to suffer for their art. Few are willing to learn to draw.

What do you get the man who has everything? Might I suggest a gravestone inscribed with the words: so what?