The truly beautiful are often abused for apparent ugliness just as those with great vision often bump into things.

All men are brothers. Hence war.

Like many supermodels, I won't get out of bed for less than £3000. Unlike many supermodels, I don't get out of bed very often.

I wear glasses myself. As an affectation, as a badge of high intellect and to see with.

Fish deserve to be caught for they are lazy. Two million years of evolution and they still haven't got out of the water.

I don't worry about losing my looks. It's finding them on someone else that worries me.

I remember when I posed as a customs officer so that I could meet Oscar Wilde. I said to him "Have you anything to declare?" He said "I have nothing to declare but my genius." I said "I'll put that down as nothing then shall I?" For I am the wittiest man on Earth.