The truly beautiful are often abused for apparent ugliness just as those with great vision often bump into things.

I remember when I posed as a customs officer so that I could meet Oscar Wilde. I said to him "Have you anything to declare?" He said "I have nothing to declare but my genius." I said "I'll put that down as nothing then shall I?" For I am the wittiest man on Earth.

It is the vanity of women to spend hours in front of the mirror. It is the vanity of men not to bother.

Like many supermodels, I won't get out of bed for less than £3000. Unlike many supermodels, I don't get out of bed very often.

I don't worry about losing my looks. It's finding them on someone else that worries me.

Many are willing to suffer for their art. Few are willing to learn to draw.

What do you get the man who has everything? Might I suggest a gravestone inscribed with the words: so what?