Mentioning Jesus in your speech: Small government. Doing what Jesus asked: Big government.
Stephen ColbertNorth Korea is willing to go to any lengths for the whole world to honor its demands of 'Ooh, please pay attention to us.'
Stephen ColbertAnd we didn't have cell phones. If you made plans to meet someone in a snow storm, and they didn't show up, you just had to assume they were devoured by wolves and go on with your life.
Stephen ColbertThe fate of our country is now in the hands of people who don't think about what they want until they get right up to the register at McDonald's.
Stephen ColbertIf this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition and then admit that we just don't want to do it.
Stephen Colbert