There's nothing wrong with stretching the truth. We stretch taffy, and that just makes it more delicious.
Stephen ColbertWe have no desire to make anybody look like a blithering idiot, but we do love it when they do.
Stephen ColbertSome people perceive me as an assassin or at least someone who can slip under your guard with a knife. But if you watch what I do, that's almost never the case. I'm just trying to keep the balloon in the air. It rarely turns into anything combative.
Stephen ColbertI must confess that I've never trusted the Web. I've always seen it as a coward's tool. Where does it live? How do you hold it personally responsible? Can you put a distributed network of fiber-optic cable "on notice"? And is it male or female? In other words, can I challenge it to a fight?
Stephen Colbert