I'll make fun of anybody. We're all about falling down and going boom on camera.

I've long been against illegal aliens, partly because they distract us from an even bigger threat: real aliens.

News for the godless: religion is inescapable. there has never been a human society without some form of worship. And don't point to communist societies like the Soviet Union - they worshipped blue jeans.

Summer movie idea: take all the sequels that are out right now, and make movies about their backstories.

Contrary to what people may say, there's no upper limit to stupidity.

Apply Truth liberally to the inflamed area.

A lot of people have said, "Oh, I, boy, I wish Hillary Clinton would just go away."