Apply Truth liberally to the inflamed area.

(on fox news).... it's like watching a Disney movie about the news.

I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin. If that ever happens, it's only because something happened during the interview that got me going, and then I had to translate my feelings to the mouth of the character.

As Shakespeare said, there's nothin' cooler than droppin' the 'g's off of gerunds!

The shamrock is a religious symbol. St. Patrick said the leaves represented the trinity: the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. That's why four leaf clovers are so lucky, you get a bonus Jesus.

I'm off for two weeks, so until I get back, take the characters in this tweet and parcel them out one per day. Use this Q wisely.

I'm not a fan of facts. You see, the facts can change, but my opinion will never change, no matter what the facts are.