Summer movie idea: take all the sequels that are out right now, and make movies about their backstories.

I know there are some polls out there saying this man has a 32% approval rating. But guys like us, we don't pay attention to the polls. We know that polls are just a collection of statistics that reflect what people are thinking in reality. And reality has a well-known liberal bias.

I don't accept the status quo. I do accept Visa, MasterCard, or American Express.

I'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin.

What the right-wing in the United States tries to do is undermine the press.

They said you can't go to the moon. They said you can't put cheese inside a pizza crust, but NASA did it. They had to, because the cheese kept floating off in space.

Yes, Dr. King is pro-gun just as surely as Jesus would be pro-nails.