A lot of people have said, "Oh, I, boy, I wish Hillary Clinton would just go away."

They say the only people who tell the truth are drunkards and children. Guess which one I am.

Look, PETA! If God hadn't wanted us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them so darn tasty!

I actually do not think that's how what's happening to our government is going to be stopped. I think people who are willing to be civically engaged and believe in the promises and the progress of the last fifty years that will save this country.

I've always been a big fan of beauty. Sure, you can't judge a book by its cover but who wants to have sex with a book?

It's the way our founding fathers would have wanted it, if they had founded corporations instead of just a country.

Now, I don't see color. People tell me I'm white and I believe them because police officers call me 'sir'.