I gut check my show. I say, I say, "Gut, gut, does that feel true to you?" And Gut says, "Yes it does, Stephen. Let's get a grilled cheese sandwich."

I'm an actor. I hate to blow everyone's illusions.

Al Gore has a hit movie called 'An Inconvenient Truth.' I have an inconvenient truth for him: you're still not the president. ... This past weekend, Al Gore's movie, 'An Inconvenient Truth,' earned more per screen than any film in the country. ... I dare say Gore's movie is the highest grossing PowerPoint presentation in history. ... Global warming: Can we live with it? ... It is time we did something, namely resign ourselves to doing nothing [on screen: Follow Congress' Lead]. ... For instance, when sea levels rise, we'll just build levees [on screen: Worked for New Orleans]

It is a well known fact that reality has liberal bias.

Who would have thought that a means of communication limited to 140 characters would ever create misunderstanding?

I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled in poetry.

On this show, your voice will be heard in the form of my voice.