I used to make up stuff in my bio all the time, that I used to be a professional ice-skater and stuff like that. I found it so inspirational. Why not make myself cooler than I am?

My guest Newt Gingrich shut down the government during the Clinton administration. I'll ask him when it's gonna start working again.

The interesting thing about grief, I think, is that it is its own size. It is not the size of you. It is its own size. And grief comes to you.

Texas governor Rick Perry has been in the race only three days, and he's already blowing away the competition like it is a trespassing coyote.

I would say laughter is the best medicine. But it's more than that. It's an entire regime of antibiotics and steroids.

brb, ttyl ok? wow, i saved a 'ton' of time with those acronyms.

The greatest threat facing American today - next to voter fraud, the Western Pinebark beetle, and the memory foam mattress - is the national news media.