Don't be bitter. Everybody suffers. If you can accept your suffering then you will understand other people better. Be grateful for pain. Love life.

I have always been a fan of reality by majority vote.

Who would have thought that a means of communication limited to 140 characters would ever create misunderstanding?

I thought Black Friday was when everyone puts on blackface and steals children from Wal-Mart.

Truthiness is "What I say is right, and [nothing] anyone else says could possibly be true." It's not only that I feel it to be true, but that I feel it to be true. There's not only an emotional quality, but there's a selfish quality.

Agnostics are just atheists without balls.

Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.