If our Founding Fathers wanted us to care about the rest of the world, they wouldn't have declared their independence from it.
Stephen ColbertNC passed law against global warming science, therefore it's not happening. So I'm ignoring Twitter's 140-character limit, so it's not happ
Stephen ColbertOne day,I might be able to tell my grandkids I interviewed the last president of the United States.
Stephen ColbertTomorrow you're all going to wake up in a brave new world, a world where the Constitution gets trampled by an army of terrorist clones created in a stem-cell research lab run by homosexual doctors who sterilize their instruments over burning American flags. Where tax and spend Democrats take all your hard-earned money and use it to buy electric cars for National Public Radio and teach evolution to illegal immigrants. Oh... and everybody's high!
Stephen Colbert