Protect yourself from Muslim vampires by making your neck non-halal.

Isn't an agnostic just an atheist without balls?

Can accidentally eating halal food make you Muslim? Yes, the same way drinking a cosmo can make you gay.

Comedians dissect jokes all the time. Comedians are beautiful structuralists. But ultimately it's an athletic endeavor.

They think I'm silly. I do silly things. I fall down and run into things. I talk to inanimate objects. I'll hold a pickup stick to my ear and say, "What? What's that? I can't hear you

Think books aren't scary? Well, think about this: You can't spell "Book" without "Boo!

Citizens United said that transparency would be the disinfectant, but (c)(4)'s are warm, wet, moist incubators. There is no disinfectant.