If you use big words, no one will know you aren't doing jack squat.

The pen is mightier than the sword, if you shoot that pen out of a gun

The fate of our country is now in the hands of people who don't think about what they want until they get right up to the register at McDonald's.

I won't be doing the new show in character, so we'll all get to find out how much of him was me. I'm looking forward to it.

Keep your facts, I'm going with the truth.

In the beginning, God created the heaven and the earth.” Sorry, Darwin-huggers, but it’s not “In the beginning, a monkey evolutioned gay marriage.

I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.