If you use big words, no one will know you aren't doing jack squat.

I don't get why the government is the only one that gets to print money.

Now I don't know why he's denying them habeas corpus. I can only assume the guys they got detained over there did something really unforgivable. Like remind Obama he was once a professor of Constitutional Law.

I didn't realize quite how liberal I was until I was asked to make passionate comedic choices as opposed to necessarily successful comedic choices.

A mother needs to be in the home even when the kids aren’t. A messy house sends a coded message to children: “I’m not loveable. Otherwise Mother would dust.

I don't accept the status quo. I do accept Visa, MasterCard, or American Express.

If poor people want food stamps, they should become massive corporations.