I can really find something interesting about almost anyone I talk to.

I love the Internet, and the Internet loves me back. Why else would it offer me so much sex?

You can change the world. Please don't do that, OK? Some of us like the way things are going now.

Hey yogurt, if you're so cultured, how come I never see you at the opera?

Cynicism masquerades as wisdom, but it is the farthest thing from it. Because cynics don’t learn anything. Because cynicism is a self-imposed blindness, a rejection of the world because we are afraid it will hurt us or disappoint us.

Life is chaotic and unpredictable. If a butterfly flaps its wings in one part of the world, it could cause people at the opposite end of the globe to watch a Discovery Channel special on butterflies

Donald Trump is a strong president. We got to stand behind this guy is what I think.