Senator Kerry does not support our troops. If he had won the election, there wouldn't be any troops left in Iraq. President Bush, on the other hand, has given our troops an opportunity to fight without end. That's creating jobs. In fact, the president's policies helped create 104 more job openings last month. Now who's stupid, Senator?

Obama avoided the Vietnam draft with a letter from his family doctor diagnosing him as medically eight.

What the right-wing in the United States tries to do is undermine the press.

Knock Knock. Who's there? The Truth. No joke.

First, [in high school], I smoked a lot of pot...and that's how I got to know the people 'half in' the society of my high school and we waved at each other over the bong. Then I got to know people by making jokes.

Republicans: the party that brought us 'Just Say No.' First as a drug policy, then as their entire platform.

Thirty seconds is the exact amount of time Americans can tolerate something they don't understand.