We will try to honor David Letterman achievement by doing the best show we can.And occasionally making the network very mad at us.

If you like Battlestar Galactica...you're probably a huge nerd.

I used to write things for friends. There was this girl I had a crush on, and she had a teacher she didn't like at school. I had a real crush on her, so almost every day I would write her a little short story where she would kill him in a different way.

I love being onstage, I love the relationship with the audience.

Hatemongers like Media Matters take innocent statements like mine, Rush Limbaugh's, John Gibson's, and Bill O'Reilly's and make them offensive by posting them on the Internet, allowing the general public to hear words that were meant for people who already agree with us. Hey, Media Matters, you want to end offensive speech? Then stop recording it for people who would be offended.

There's a wonderfully cooperative relationship between management and labor right now. Much like the historic partnership between oranges and a juicer.

I'm more American than apple pie. I'm like apple pie, with a hot dog in it.