The entire future of marriage rests with Justice Anthony Kennedy, the man who declared in Citizens United that corporations are people with constitutional rights. I just hope he doesn't do anything rash, like declare that homosexuals are people with constitutional rights.

Other people's deconstruction of your motivations doesn't help you do what you do. You can't swallow and think about swallowing at the same time.

We have no desire to make anybody look like a blithering idiot, but we do love it when they do.

I've always been a big fan of beauty. Sure, you can't judge a book by its cover but who wants to have sex with a book?

If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn't help the poor, either we have to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we've got to acknowledge that He commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition and then admit that we just don't want to do it.

And if you love only yourself, you will serve only yourself. And you will have only yourself.

I used to play a narcissistic-conservative pundit. Now, I'm just a narcissist.