Of course! Jeb Bush! America is hungry for another leader from that talented family!

If I had free time to go to Los Angeles to shoot a movie, I would rather spend it with my kids.

Can't wait for tomorrow when I get to exercise my patriotic duty as an American: Complaining about how long it's taking to VOTE.

America used to live by the motto "Father Knows Best." Now we're lucky if "Father Knows He Has Children." We've become a nation of sperm donors and baby daddies.

God works in mysterious ways but at least he works, he's never on welfare in a mysterious way.

Give a man a suicide bomb, he blows up once. Teach a man to suicide bomb, he also blows up once.

John Boehner chose a huge gavel. I think somebody's compensating for his small government.