Of course! Jeb Bush! America is hungry for another leader from that talented family!

I scream, you scream, we all scream... for the truth.

Make no mistake - they're coming for our guns. And we freedom-loving gun lovers are totally defenseless! Other than, you know, the guns.

I've long been against illegal aliens, partly because they distract us from an even bigger threat: real aliens.

Status is always ripe for satire, status is always good for comedy.

You said in your book that at the end of the day, every politician is human. What about during the day?

I live by syllogisms: God is love. Love is blind. Stevie Wonder is blind. Therefore, Stevie Wonder is God. I don't know what I'd believe in if it wasn't for that.