America used to live by the motto "Father Knows Best." Now we're lucky if "Father Knows He Has Children." We've become a nation of sperm donors and baby daddies.
Stephen ColbertThere's nothing wrong with stretching the truth. We stretch taffy, and that just makes it more delicious.
Stephen ColbertLet freedom ka-ching...Corporations do everything people do except breathe, die and go to jail for dumping 1.3 million pounds of PCBs in the Hudson River.
Stephen ColbertWikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some.
Stephen Colbert