This is America. We must defend the principles symbolized by Lady Liberty - unless she's on the pill, in which case, she is a giant green tramp.

I love being onstage, I love the relationship with the audience.

But you are also the biggest threat of all ...You are a gay person I like. Your threat is that you make being gay seem non-threatening. It's almost as if your happiness does not take mine away.

The goal is to have fun with my friends.And that means sometimes talking about things that you care about.

I guess 14% plus Jesus equals victory

I hope people'll find out pretty quickly that the guy they saw for 10 years was my sense of humor the whole time.

You can't swallow and think about your tongue. If you think about your tongue, you've got a giant piece of meat in your mouth and that's a terrible feeling.