As we all know, reality has a liberal bias.

I've been accused of being unambitious, but what I do takes up every minute. I'm executive producer, I'm a writer and the host.

Life is an improvisation. You have no idea what's going to happen next and you are mostly just making things up as you go along.

Leaving religious texts open too interpretation is the downfall of religion itself. If it is truly the word of God then there is no room for interpretation; you either take all of it or none. There is no selective belief

The fate of our country is now in the hands of people who don't think about what they want until they get right up to the register at McDonald's.

I gotta tell you, I do not envy whoever they try to put in David Letterman's chair. Folks those are some huge shoes to fill, and some really big pants.

Take the platypus - that is not a finished product. It is clearly still in beta.