There's a buzz to failing and not dying.

I won't be doing the new show in character, so we'll all get to find out how much of him was me. I'm looking forward to it.

The most common thing that real reporters say to me is, "I wish I could say what you say." What I don't understand is, why can't they say what I say, even in their own way? Does that mean they want to be able to name certain bald contradictions or hypocrisies that politicians have?

Equations are the devil's sentences.

Now I don't know why he's denying them habeas corpus. I can only assume the guys they got detained over there did something really unforgivable. Like remind Obama he was once a professor of Constitutional Law.

Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some.

I’m the frosting on America’s cake, and tonight I’m willing to let you lick the bowl.