There's a buzz to failing and not dying.

What's the worst that can happen? A tidal wave? Glaciers with guns?

If Jesus doesn't have a sense of humor, I am in huge trouble.

Agnostics are just atheists without balls.

brb, ttyl ok? wow, i saved a 'ton' of time with those acronyms.

Here's how it works: the president makes decisions. He's the decider. The press secretary announces those decisions, and you people of the press type those decisions down. Make, announce, type. Just put 'em through a spell check and go home. The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He believes the same thing Wednesday that he believed on Monday, no matter what happened Tuesday. Events can change; this man's beliefs never will.

Protect yourself from Muslim vampires by making your neck non-halal.