Wikipedia is the first place I go when I'm looking for knowledge... or when I want to create some.

When my car runs out of gas, I buy a new one. I don't want to ride around with a quitter.

I love being onstage, I love the relationship with the audience.

That’s why our TVs are brimming with so much hot man-on-pan action. You can’t channel surf for long without seeing turkey getting stuffed over and over until they finally cut to the gravy shot.

So if animals aren't our friends, then what are they? The answer can be summed up between two buns.

Corporations have free speech, but they can't speak like you and me. They don't have mouths or hands.

Women don't want all that. Women just want a partner who is considerate and attentive, who will spoon with them while reciting Keats, and feed them organic yogurt by candlelight on a seaside cliff at sunset.