The pen is mightier than the sword, if you shoot that pen out of a gun

Take it from me, there's nothing like a job well done, except the quiet enveloping darkness at the bottom of a bottle of Jim Beam after a job done any way at all.

You see, we're America the Beautiful, not America 'Well, At Least She Has a Great Personality'.

I don't like the new president who hunts muslim extremists, I like the old president who is a muslim extremist.

Hey yogurt, if you're so cultured, how come I never see you at the opera?

President Bush, have a hot dog with me.

I deliver my Truth hot and hard.