I wrote things for the school's newspaper, and - like all teenagers - I dabbled in poetry.

Don't cry over spilled milk. By this time tomorrow, it'll be free yogurt.

Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts are. What feels like the right answer as opposed to what reality will support.

A new study shows that having a severe phobia can hasten aging. But what if my greatest fear IS aging?!?

I love being onstage, I love the relationship with the audience.

Take away the Big Bang and what has God done? Burned a bush and got a girl pregnant. Great, he's a high school junior.

To all the worryworts out there who said super PACs were going to lead to a cabal of billionaires secretly buying democracy: wrong! They are publicly buying democracy.