As a rule, Germans shouldn't do comedy. Their last box office comedy was Nosferatu.

I believe all God's creatures have a soul... except bears, bears are Godless killing machines!

I did learn something interesting [while at the Atlanta airport]. You have to be a member of the TSA in order to legally perform a cavity search. My apologies to the staff of Cinnabon, but you guys should really keep that extra frosting where the customers can find it.

Some say, 'Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it.' I say, 'Those who ignore history are in for a big surprise.'

In America, we know to ignore artists if they're serious in any way.

Truthiness is what you want the facts to be as opposed to what the facts are. What feels like the right answer as opposed to what reality will support.

There's nothing American tourists like more than the things they can get at home.