There hasn't been a scandal this big at the C.I.A. since (CLASSIFIED) committed (CENSORED) to (REDACTED).

Marijuana is a gateway drug that can lead to awful things, like Phish getting back together.

I scream, you scream, we all scream... for the truth.

And that brings us to tonight's word: Truthiness. Now I'm sure some of the word-police, the 'wordanistas' over at Websters, are gonna say, 'Hey, that's not a word!' Well, anybody who knows me knows that I am no fan of dictionaries or reference books. They're elitist. Constantly telling us what is or isn't true, what did or didn't happen.

A lot of people have said, "Oh, I, boy, I wish Hillary Clinton would just go away."

Everybody loves dogs. They're the pizza of the animal kingdom.

Laughter brings the swelling down on our national psyche.