I'm a junkie for exhaustion, and I'm a junkie for setting up my expectations too high and then trying to meet them.
Stephen ColbertI'm a satirist, so I've got boxing gloves on if the person is worthy of satire. But I'm not an assassin.
Stephen ColbertMarijuana is a gateway drug that can lead to awful things, like Phish getting back together.
Stephen ColbertIf anybody needs anything else at their tables, just speak slowly and clearly into your table numbers. Someone from the NSA will be right over with a cocktail.
Stephen ColbertWe have this idea in our mind that there's a separation of church and state in America, which I think is a good thing. And we extend that to our politics. Like it's not just church and state, but it's also there's a separation of religion and politics. But of course, there - there isn't.
Stephen Colbert