The interesting thing about grief, I think, is that it is its own size. It is not the size of you. It is its own size. And grief comes to you.

There's nothing American tourists like more than the things they can get at home.

You see, we're America the Beautiful, not America 'Well, At Least She Has a Great Personality'.

I love the truth. It's the facts I'm not a fan of.

Arby's: If I was about to be killed, I would eat it.

Attack life, it's going to kill you anyway.

America used to live by the motto "Father Knows Best." Now we're lucky if "Father Knows He Has Children." We've become a nation of sperm donors and baby daddies.