Life is chaotic and unpredictable. If a butterfly flaps its wings in one part of the world, it could cause people at the opposite end of the globe to watch a Discovery Channel special on butterflies

We [comics] create our own reality on the show. I'm in a cocoon of the character's creation. Even within that reality, he's in a cocoon. While I'm an improviser and enjoy discovery, the show follows a script. I have a pretty good idea what's going to happen. It's a very ­crafted, controlled environment.

Charles Darwin got totally hammered, woke up next to a monkey and decided he had to come up with a theory to make it all okay.

Let freedom ka-ching...Corporations do everything people do except breathe, die and go to jail for dumping 1.3 million pounds of PCBs in the Hudson River.

Of course! Jeb Bush! America is hungry for another leader from that talented family!

If you repeat it, it's true. If you repeat it, it's true. And through repetition, something becomes true. If you repeat it enough. Until it becomes true. Or do I need to repeat that for you?

I'm obviously younger, much better looking [then Jeorge W.Bush].He didn't veto things, he didn't bring order and fiscal restraint.