Life is chaotic and unpredictable. If a butterfly flaps its wings in one part of the world, it could cause people at the opposite end of the globe to watch a Discovery Channel special on butterflies

It's like boxing a glacier. Enjoy that metaphor, by the way, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is.

I've long been against illegal aliens, partly because they distract us from an even bigger threat: real aliens.

Donald Trump is a strong president. We got to stand behind this guy is what I think.

NASA scientists have discovered a new form of life, unfortunately, it won't date them either.

Thankfully, dreams can change. If we'd all stuck with our first dream, the world would be overrun with cowboys and princesses.

You can't swallow and think about your tongue. If you think about your tongue, you've got a giant piece of meat in your mouth and that's a terrible feeling.