Look, PETA! If God hadn't wanted us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them so darn tasty!

Life is an improvisation. You have no idea what's going to happen next and you are mostly just making things up as you go along.

If you think you can lead your flock of sheeple and peeps to some glorified noodle fest on the mall, you got another thing coming, mister.

New study reveals men like to cuddle. Another study reveals men will say anything to get into bed with a woman.

Citizens United said that transparency would be the disinfectant, but (c)(4)'s are warm, wet, moist incubators. There is no disinfectant.

I suppose fear is like a drug. A little bit isn't that bad, but you can get addicted to the consumption and distribution of it.

Republicans and nerds have so much in common -- they both live in fantasy worlds and have no idea how to relate to women.