I used to play a narcissistic-conservative pundit. Now, I'm just a narcissist.

brb, ttyl ok? wow, i saved a 'ton' of time with those acronyms.

The only thing that gets me high is the musky scent of my enemy's fear

If you think you can lead your flock of sheeple and peeps to some glorified noodle fest on the mall, you got another thing coming, mister.

Here's an easy way to figure out if you're in a cult: If you're wondering whether you're in a cult, the answer is yes.

If you repeat it, it's true. If you repeat it, it's true. And through repetition, something becomes true. If you repeat it enough. Until it becomes true. Or do I need to repeat that for you?

And we didn't have cell phones. If you made plans to meet someone in a snow storm, and they didn't show up, you just had to assume they were devoured by wolves and go on with your life.