We have no desire to make anybody look like a blithering idiot, but we do love it when they do.

Contrary to what people may say, there's no upper limit to stupidity.

You have a firm grasp of the obvious.

You may learn sooner than most generations the hard lesson that you must always make the path for yourself...There is no secret society out there that will tap you on your shoulder one night and show you the way.

Texas governor Rick Perry has been in the race only three days, and he's already blowing away the competition like it is a trespassing coyote.

I'm proud of my ability to understand what somebody else is trying to do and help them achieve it, because part of the aesthetic of improvisation is service. We don't lead, we only follow. You never say no. Serve the servant, follow the follower. And that's very valuable in your life, as well as very valuable in your work.

Contraception leads to more babies being born out of wedlock, like fire extinguishers lead to more fires.