Make no mistake - they're coming for our guns. And we freedom-loving gun lovers are totally defenseless! Other than, you know, the guns.

There's nothing wrong with stretching the truth. We stretch taffy, and that just makes it more delicious.

I'm getting angry at liberals.

Destroying a religious symbol and building a religious center are really the same thing if you don't think about it.

The most common thing that real reporters say to me is, "I wish I could say what you say." What I don't understand is, why can't they say what I say, even in their own way? Does that mean they want to be able to name certain bald contradictions or hypocrisies that politicians have?

Look, PETA! If God hadn't wanted us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them so darn tasty!

We are divided between those who think with their heads and those who know with their heart. Consider Harriet Miers. If you think about Harriet Miers, of course her nomination is absurd. But the President didn't say he thought about his selection. He said this: "I know her heart." Notice how he said nothing about her brain? He didn't have to. He feels the truth about Harriet Miers.