Make no mistake - they're coming for our guns. And we freedom-loving gun lovers are totally defenseless! Other than, you know, the guns.

Trump will not respond to reasoned argument. He will not be held accountable for the things he said. All you can do is point and laugh. Because the devil cannot abide mockery.

The liberal Gluten-free agenda is turning our dogs lesbian.

Donald Trump is a strong president. We got to stand behind this guy is what I think.

Anyone can read the news to you. I promise to feel the news at you.

I not only loved studying theater, I loved being a theater major. It gave me an excuse to brood, to grow a beard, to wear black 'at' people. I didn't just want to play Hamlet, I wanted to be Hamlet.

I would say laughter is the best medicine. But it's more than that. It's an entire regime of antibiotics and steroids.