Now you'll have to wait for hours in line for medical care instead of immediately not getting any.

Senator John Kyle claiming that over 90 percent of what Planned Parenthood does is abortion. Stephen Colbert: Over 90 percent, that is unbelievable...in that it is not true. Only 3 percent of what Planned Parenthood does is abortion. Kyle just rounded it up to the nearest 90.

Texas governor Rick Perry has been in the race only three days, and he's already blowing away the competition like it is a trespassing coyote.

I would say laughter is the best medicine. But it's more than that. It's an entire regime of antibiotics and steroids.

On this show, your voice will be heard in the form of my voice.

Once I'm performing the show, I think that hour show has a certain intimacy with our audience. And that intimacy is through the lens and the live audience is a witness to that, whereas the audience at home is actually the object of my efforts.

Can accidentally eating halal food make you Muslim? Yes, the same way drinking a cosmo can make you gay.