Now you'll have to wait for hours in line for medical care instead of immediately not getting any.

Laughter brings the swelling down on our national psyche.

My character is self-important, poorly informed, well-intentioned but an idiot. So we said, `Let's give him a promotion.'

Now you'll have to wait for hours in line for medical care instead of immediately not getting any.

When my car runs out of gas, I buy a new one. I don't want to ride around with a quitter.

I have a generally liberal audience, but they will applaud when I nail a liberal lion.

I love the Internet, and the Internet loves me back. Why else would it offer me so much sex?