My character is self-important, poorly informed, well-intentioned but an idiot. So we said, `Let's give him a promotion.'

Science attacks our most cherished opinions. Opinions which come straight from our collective gut. Oh, wait, according to gastroenterologists, the only thing that comes from the gut is waste left from the digestion of food. That’s right, “waste.” I guess that means that scientists literally think our opinions should be flushed down the toilet!

I deliver my Truth hot and hard.

Look, PETA! If God hadn't wanted us to eat animals, he wouldn't have made them so darn tasty!

It warps the minds of our children and weakens the resolve of our allies.

To all the worryworts out there who said super PACs were going to lead to a cabal of billionaires secretly buying democracy: wrong! They are publicly buying democracy.

Writing and producing the show is an intellectual process. Performing the show is far more athletic and intuitive, because you don't get to do it twice. It helps if you've done whatever the old saw is, 10,000 hours of it. Because I've done 10,000 hours of comedy, I have this database in my mind of what works and what doesn't work.