Can't wait for tomorrow when I get to exercise my patriotic duty as an American: Complaining about how long it's taking to VOTE.

It's much better to invite the audience to be part of your show rather than saying, "I command you to do this." The other thing is, you have to follow through. If you initiate a game and they take part, you can't stop until it reaches a mutually satisfying resolution.

Destroying a religious symbol and building a religious center are really the same thing if you don't think about it.

I'm an actor. I hate to blow everyone's illusions.

If anybody needs anything else at their tables, just speak slowly and clearly into your table numbers. Someone from the NSA will be right over with a cocktail.

(Rush are) like the JD Salinger of Canadian Prog Rock

You see, we're America the Beautiful, not America 'Well, At Least She Has a Great Personality'.