Mitt Romney's email was hacked! So if you start getting messages that sound like they're from a bot, he's fixed the problem.

Corporations have free speech, but they can't speak like you and me. They don't have mouths or hands.

Once I'm performing the show, I think that hour show has a certain intimacy with our audience. And that intimacy is through the lens and the live audience is a witness to that, whereas the audience at home is actually the object of my efforts.

Now I don't know why he's denying them habeas corpus. I can only assume the guys they got detained over there did something really unforgivable. Like remind Obama he was once a professor of Constitutional Law.

Anyone can read the news to you. I promise to feel the news at you.

The only thing that gets me high is the musky scent of my enemy's fear

If I thought I knew what was going to happen, it wouldn't be worth doing. The challenge is how joyfully, with what sense of fun and adventure and playfulness, we will greet it. We don't have to look for what the next thing will be. If experience is any judge, it'll come flowing toward us like a river.