Folks, I don't trust children. They're here to replace us.

Life is an improvisation. You have no idea what's going to happen next and you are mostly just making things up as you go along.

I believe that the government that governs best is a government that governs least, and by these standards we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.

Can you really put a price on annoying two religions at once?

You have to do your First Penance before your First Holy Communion. You're really young. What do you know? You've got nothing to confess. All I knew was that I was an evil human whose sins caused the death of our Lord.

NASA scientists have discovered a new form of life, unfortunately, it won't date them either.

I don't get why the government is the only one that gets to print money.