Now we all know that Fidel Castro dressed up like Marilyn Monroe and gave JFK a case of syphilis so bad it eventually blew out the back of his head.
Stephen ColbertYou have to have a passionate opinion; otherwise you sound false. You end up telling the audience jokes they've already heard.
Stephen ColbertI'm not a fan of facts. You see, the facts can change, but my opinion will never change, no matter what the facts are.
Stephen ColbertAnd when those bombs went off, there were runners who, after finishing a marathon, kept running for another two miles to the hospital to donate blood. So, here's what I know - these maniacs may have tried to make life bad for the people of Boston, but all they can ever do, is show just how good those people are.
Stephen Colbert