Republicans: the party that brought us 'Just Say No.' First as a drug policy, then as their entire platform.

And if you love only yourself, you will serve only yourself. And you will have only yourself.

The greatest threat facing American today - next to voter fraud, the Western Pinebark beetle, and the memory foam mattress - is the national news media.

I'm off for two weeks, so until I get back, take the characters in this tweet and parcel them out one per day. Use this Q wisely.

I don't like the new president who hunts muslim extremists, I like the old president who is a muslim extremist.

It's like boxing a glacier. Enjoy that metaphor, by the way, because your grandchildren will have no idea what a glacier is.

Thinking that other people might be better than you is what makes you Canadian, not American.