Republicans: the party that brought us 'Just Say No.' First as a drug policy, then as their entire platform.

Hey yogurt, if you're so cultured, how come I never see you at the opera?

Arbitrary rules teach kids discipline: If every rule made sense, they wouldn't be learning respect for authority, they'd be learning logic.

I'm a huge news junkie. I love what the news does.

Today, folks, should be all about love. Unless you're old.

Sure, integrating schools may sound benign. But whats the use of living in a gated community if my kids go to school and get poor all over them?

I'm not a truthiness fanatic, I'm truthiness's father.