Shamelessness is a wonderful part of the character.

Some say, 'Those who ignore history are doomed to repeat it.' I say, 'Those who ignore history are in for a big surprise.'

Take away the Big Bang and what has God done? Burned a bush and got a girl pregnant. Great, he's a high school junior.

The pen is mightier than the sword, if you shoot that pen out of a gun

NASA scientists have discovered a new form of life, unfortunately, it won't date them either.

Internet users, that blue screen of death you were looking at this morning? That's the sky. If you're still confused, look it up on Wikipedia tomorrow.

Nothing is more vintage than dying of Rubella.